Hurt
by millertime1985
Summary: How does Callen react when Nell is hurt while in the field. 4th in my Sacrifice Series
1. Chapter 1

Notes: Thanks for taking the time to look over my story.

I hadn't expected to be posting another fic so soon, but couldn't get the idea out of my head. So, since it's so short I thought I'd just post it now, rather than waiting till I start my next 'Big' fic

I have tried to keep characterisations right, but I may have slipped up here or there.

This is a follow up to my previous stories "Sacrifice" and "Redemption", and Continuation to "Revelation"

I hope you enjoy it.

I know it can be a bit uninteresting, but I value feedback, as it lets me know what people like, or don't like from my efforts. Or just so I know if you have enjoyed it in general. So I would please ask you to take a minute once you've finished reading it, to let me know what you thought.

I do NOT own NCIS:Los Angeles or any of its Characters. I'm just borrowing them

* * *

"Nope. Not Happening"

"Why?. Because I'm a woman, Because I'm not a field agent?"

"It's nothing to do with you being a woman, Nell. And while you're not a field agent, You know, and I know that you're more than capable of protecting yourself, and working in the field"

"So what is it… Why are you not okay with taking me with you"

"Do you remember telling me how you felt when I got hurt protecting you?" Nell nods her head "Well Same thing, just with the roles reversed. I don't want to see, or even think about you getting hurt. Even if I'm there with you, it would be too risky"

Nell stood, digesting what Callen had said to her, about how she **could** , and more importantly.. how she **should** respond

"Fine, if that's how you feel. I have some papers to file"

"Are we ok, though?" Callen asked, concerned

"We're fine. I'll see you later"

Callen stood and watch Nell walk away from him, round the corner and into the corridor that ran behind OPS. He couldn't help but think that this discussion wasn't really over

…..

"You know he's gonna be pissed when he sees you there"

"Even if he is, Hetty said I was to come with you. You wont get blamed, Kens"

"Uh huh. And Leonardo DiCaprio is gonna knock on my door tonight, and take me away with him" Kensi looked at her friend "Hetty didn't tell you to come did she… You asked to come"

"So what if I did. She still approved my request, and I do have the training"

"I'm not doubting your skill. If Callen said he didn't want you in the field with him, he must have had a good reason. But it's your funeral… if we're quick, you can maybe beat Deeks to the car, and you won't have to sit in the back"

…..

"Let her go" Callen almost screamed at the suspect they were trying to apprehend, as each of the agents took aim

"Drop your gun, Cops. I would really hate to have to shoot her" The suspect instructed, as he pushed his guns barrel closer to Nell's temple

Callen stared him down, watching for their suspect to flinch… But he didn't.

Instead Callen lowered his weapon, released the mag and ejected the round in the chamber, before dropping the gun to the ground and raised his hands, as if to surrender. Against his training, he instructed Sam, Kensi and Deeks to lower their weapons

"Right. We're not aiming at you any more. So release her, unharmed, and you can walk out of here, right now…" Callen said, trying to bargain for Nell

"Good deal. So I'll release her…" he said, then after a few seconds he pushed Nell towards a flight of stairs, with considerable force.

Callen froze… seeing Nell moving at slow motion towards the descending flight of stairs. When all he could do was watch her go face first down the stairs into an almost roll.

Their suspect set off, at great speed around the corner and out of sight. Callen for once, didn't know what to do, or what to say..

"Deeks, follow me… Kensi, Wait with Callen. Make sure Nell's alright" Sam instructed, taking command of the situation.

Sam and Deeks ran off, leaving Kensi to shake Callen and wake him from his frozen state

As soon as he started responding, he Pushed Kensi away from him, ordering him to go after Sam and Deeks.

He had to shout at her, to make her take off in pursuit of Sam, Deeks and their suspect. Once Kensi left, Callen quickly ran down the stairs, until he got to the bottom and fell to his knees at Nells side. Finding that she was still breathing, and had a strong pulse, Callen pulled his phone out and dialled OPS to demand Eric get paramedics sent to the scene.

"Come on Nell, wake up. Please… Wake up"

…..

"How is she?" Kensi asked Callen

"You want to get out my sight Right now, Kens" Callen managed to say, just about holding in the intense anger he felt towards the junior agent

Kensi stepped away from Callen, and sat down with Deeks at the far end of the waiting room. Deeks took her hands and said something to her, very quietly, Before she started sobbing.

Callen still didn't know what to tell Hetty or Eric. He would have to phone in and give an update. But he still didn't know much. He may have been her named emergency contact now, but he didn't know enough about her condition. The doctors were still checking her over and had scheduled an MRI for her before they wanted to say too much about her condition.

He had been going over the whole thing, looking at how he could have done things differently. The main thing would have been to simply to refuse to let Nell leave the car, even if she was there with Hetty's blessing. In a way, he understood how Nell must have felt when he had been injured. No matter how he tried to spin things, he still believed that he was largely at fault for her injuries, even if he blamed Kensi for letting Nell come with her on the manhunt.

"Mr Callen? Can I speak to you for a moment" the doctor asked as he approached.

…..

"As much as I like being held, you don't need to carry me inside. I do have crutches" Nell argued

"I thought this was better than making you walk inside" Callen replied, as he carried Nell through their front door

"G. I am perfectly capable of walking. It's just a bump to the head, and a broken leg. The doctors wouldn't have released me if I wasn't able to manage"

"Well, you don't have to manage alone. Whatever you need, I'll do, or help you with. Now, how about I order us some take-out, and I'll bring you your laptop through?" Callen said, after laying Nell out on their bed

"That sounds pretty good, Thank you"

Callen left her alone in the bedroom, as he left to order dinner and then go collect her laptop from their home office.

It was at this time that Nell checked her cellphone, and found an unread message on it

Kensi: Hope you're ok, Let me know you got home

Nell: I'm fine, not that G will accept it. He seems to think I'm an invalid

Kensi: He was pretty worried

Nell: Why don't you come over when you finish tomorrow. Maybe you could even break me out of my prison cell

Nell had to wait several minutes for Kensi's next reply

Kensi: I don't think I can come see you. But I'll see you when you come back to work

Nell: Why not? What's wrong

Kensi: Nothing really. See you soon

Callen walked back in with Nell's computer and a cushion to keep Nells injured leg raised

"What's wrong with Kensi? We were just texting and she wouldn't agree to come round to see me. She says she'll see me when I go back to work"

"I don't know what's wrong with her. But maybe it's a good thing. Especially since you wouldn't have been hurt if she hadn't of brought you" Callen said coldly about his younger colleague.

"G. It's not Kensi's fault that I got hurt. It's just a risk that comes with the job. You know that. Is this you… did you say something to Kensi?!"

"Okay. I may have said something, but…"

"You go call Kensi, this minute, apologise for whatever you said. You're too close to one another to let such a stupid thing come between you" Nell demanded, after interrupting Callen

…..

About 4am a couple of days later, Nell woke up needing a drink of water. To her surprise she didn't find Callen in the bed beside her, nor was there any sign that he had been there at any time during the night.

She managed to reach her crutches and push herself on her feet, so that she could hobble though to the kitchen via the lounge in the hope that he was sat reading.

But when she found herself in the lounge, how she found him was the furthest from what she would have imagined. He was laying down on the couch, snoring, his shirt was stretched and untidy, proving that he had been sleeping in it for several hours. Most surprising was what was resting in the hand, at the end of his outstretched arm… an empty bottle of vodka that had been full and in the freezer before he hat gotten home from work yesterday.

'What could cause him to drink the full bottle by himself' She wondered to herself.

Nell moved through to the kitchen for her drink of water. Once she was done she moved through to the guest bedroom to grab a blanket to cover him with. She would deal with the reasons for his drinking, when he woke up in the morning. Until then she would sit down in his arm chair and watch over him.

…..

"There's aspirin and a glass of water on the table for you" Nell called from the kitchen, once she heard Callen start to stir. "Do you want to tell me what happened to you last night, or should I keep imagining the worst?" she added as she hobbled back into the lounge

"Don't know what you're talking about"

"Come on G. You were passed out drunk, after finishing a bottle of vodka that was unopened yesterday afternoon. I was worried when I woke up and you weren't there, and now… now I'm confused and worried about why you would have had so much to drink"

"It's nothing I can't deal with"

"Okay. If you say so, but you know that you can talk to me about anything" She finished off, and watched as he left the lounge to go get freshened up for work

…..

"… and I don't know how. I just know that something is bothering him that he won't talk with me about"

[….]

"I know that we don't always want to talk to each other about everything. But I don't want to have to watch him go down this dark road."

[….]

"So has mom or dad said anything else about their opinion of him?"

[….]

"That's not fair. Things were more than a little hectic, it's not easy to explain. Besides It wasn't his fault"

[….]

"Rachael… I don't really care what either of them think anymore. I love him, and he loves me. If my happiness isn't enough for then, I don't know what will. Anyway I've got to go. I'll give you a call at the weekend, Love you"

Nell ended the call, then fired off a quick text to Callen asking if he knew when he would be home

a few minutes later, her phone chirped.

G: Be home soon. Just stopping off to pick up some Chinese x

It was almost an hour later when Nell heard his car pull up outside.

When he walked through the door he looked shattered, and didn't look too steady on his feet. Once he leaned down to kiss her cheek, she knew why… he was stinking of drink. She managed to get herself up on her own feet (and crutches) and followed him into their kitchen

"Where were you. And don't tell me that you were picking up dinner" She asked, her voice heavy with concern

"Had a tough day, and I needed a hard drink"

"G. I know I asked you this morning, but I really need the truth from you. What's bothering you, that you feel you cant talk to me, and that you need to drink to help you cope"

Callen stared back at her, looking very unsure and uncomfortable

"I've been having a hard time. Every time that I close my eyes I can see you being pushed down those stairs. Whenever I've tried to sleep I see you at the bottom on those stairs… and it was worse than just a broken leg." When he paused to take a breath, Nell could see his lip quiver. It was then that she realised just how badly tall of this had been affecting him.

"Hey" she said, as she started moved over to him "I'm okay. I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere" She reached one arm round him and pulled him close, before taking a step back so that she could look him in the eyes

"You have trouble sleeping, or you have trouble with _any_ of this… just talk to me. I don't care if it's the middle of the night, okay?!" She waited for his response before making another move

Callen looked back at her and just nodded, unable to say anything without giving away his emotions

"So how about we leave dinner for now, and you come give me a hand in the

shower?" Nell suggested with a cheeky grin

…..


	2. Chapter 2

Notes: Thanks for taking the time to look over my story.

This is a little different to what I've written before, mainly the subject matter.

It's always amazed me how the characters are rarely affected by anything for more than an episode or two. So with this chapter I wanted to explore the after effects of an experience. While the characters may be able to shrug most of the stuff they encounter at work, off. I wanted to write about how I think Callen would react longer term with the feeling of blame for Nell being injured.

I do apologise if it's not what you were expecting or hoping for, but I have a good idea what I want to write next, and had left a hint.

I have tried to keep characterisations right, but I may have slipped up here or there.

I hope you enjoy it.

I know it can be a bit uninteresting, but I value feedback, as it lets me know what people like, or don't like from my efforts. Or just so I know if you have enjoyed it in general. So I would please ask you to take a minute once you've finished reading it, to let me know what you thought.

I do NOT own NCIS:Los Angeles or any of its Characters. I'm just borrowing them

"So what is it you needed to see me about, Callen?"

"I'm having trouble sleeping. It's bad, even by my standards, and I think I need some help, Nate"

"Okay, You've got my attention. Tell me what's been happening since I last saw you"

…..

"I'll make a call, and make sure it's ready for you to collect. And I can't stress this enough, the pills won't solve everything by themselves, **you** have to work at it, on your own. Maybe you should try talking about it with Nell. You're not on your own any more. Nell is smart, she's probably already noticed that something has been working on you…"

"Yeah I know, but I'm not prepared to off load onto her. The last thing she needs is more drama, caused because of me"

Callen walked out of the restaurant, and got in his car. Pulling out of the car park he started thinking about what he had done… the man who purposefully avoided psychological reviews, had sought out Nate for help.

Ever since Nell had been injured while assisting them in the field, his sleep had been getting worse and worse. To begin with he had resorted to alcohol to help knock himself out for a few hours. That wasn't an option he still had, not since Nell had found him passed out in the lounge. He hadn't had the heart to admit to Nell that he was barely sleeping, and that every time he closed his eyes he was seeing her unconscious, or dead at the bottom of the stairs she had been pushed down.

He had noticed his mood slip, and found himself becoming more and more depressed. He was thankful for the fact that he thought he had managed to hide it from the Team, Hetty and especially, Nell.

It had gotten so bad, that he felt it was starting to impact on his ability to work to his highest standard. It was at this stage that he had discretely sought help from Nate Getz. He had hoped, perhaps unrealistically, that talking about his problems with someone that knew him, but that was not someone he saw on a daily basis, that he may have achieved some therapeutic benefit. Sadly, it wasn't to work out that way. Instead, Nate had suggested taking some anti depressants, and simply talking with someone, either someone he already trusted, or alternatively he could be referred for ongoing therapy within NCIS. The idea of having to take both anti depressants and have to go to therapy did not appeal, and Callen had promised to find someone to talk to. He just didn't know who he would end up speaking to about his issues… Nell was the one person he trusted most now, but he couldn't bring himself to admit his problems to her. Sam had been his friend, partner and close confidant for many years… but Callen worried how Sam may feel about working with him while on a medication that could slow his reactions. Deeks… Not that the detective was untrustworthy, it was just that he made a joke of almost everything. He wasn't even going to consider Eric, for several reasons, but mainly because of how close he was with Nell.

That only left one person other than Hetty

…..

"So, you need a lift home?" Sam Hanna asked his partner

"Nah, I'm taking the Merc home tonight since Nell has a hospital appointment in the morning. Makes more sense than comin in early so I can go back home to pick her up" Callen replied, before waving his partner off

"Quick word before you go, Agent Blye" Callen requested with a cold tone in his voice

Once Deeks had left, and Callen was sure there was no one else around, he turned to face Kensi, who was sat down at her desk waiting to see what the senior agent had to talk to her about.

"I Snapped at you the other week, blamed you for something that wasn't rightly your fault. For that, I apologise"

Kensi was shocked. For the last few weeks he hadn't said a word to her that wasn't specifically to do with work. He hadn't stopped her from seeing Nell, it was just that he hadn't treated her like his kid sister anymore… and truth be told she was worried and upset about the prospect.

"You were right. I shouldn't have let Nell come with us. Neither you or Hetty instructed me to let her come. I Should have known better. Now, not that I'm not pleased that you're talking to me again, but why now…?"

Callen looked uncomfortable about what he had to say next

"I've not been coping well with what happened to Nell, so I ended up contacting Nate…"

Kensi interrupted him "Not coping in what way?"

"I've not been sleeping well, and I mean as in I'm getting dramatically less sleep than I normally get. When I do sleep I'm having nightmares about that day… Nell being at the bottom of those stairs with her neck snapped. Nate got me prescribed something, but urged me to talk with someone about all this. And I cant tell Nell… I don't want her to worry"

"So that's why you've been so twitchy…!"

"Yeah. Like I said, I need someone to talk to… and I also need you to tell me if Nell starts expressing concerns about me"

"Will do. What Nate's had prescribed… are there any side effects that are likely to affect you ability to do your job. I mean I'm guessing that you've not told Sam or Hetty"

"I've not told either of them, and Nate agreed to keep it off Hetty's radar for now

"I don't know who you need to worry about finding it out most"

…..

"So how was work?" Nell called through to the kitchen as Callen prepared their dinner

"Don't even pretend that Eric isn't keeping you up to date"

"Well, I wouldn't need to pretend if you would agree to let me go into the office"

"Nell, It. isn't. up. to. me. If it was me with the broken leg, you wouldn't be trying to get Hetty to let me go in"

"Yeah… well, you don't take good enough care of yourself G"

"Maybe not. But I am taking care of you, the same way you would take care of me"

"I hate you" Nell called out

"Love you too" Callen said, as he carried through her meal, pain killers and a glass of water

Callen watched Nell as she took her meds. Once she had taken her pills Callen leaned over and placed a kiss on her head, before slipping back through to the kitchen to take his own pill so Nell didn't see

"Tell you what, how about I speak to Hetty and see if there are any intelligence briefings that you can go over here" Callen suggested as he returned to the lounge with his own meal

…..

That night, Callen got a couple of extra undisturbed hours sleep, and over the next couple of weeks he started to sleep better and feel more relaxed.

He didn't know if it was the medication, burying the hatchet with Kensi or the simple fact that Nell was getting better and would soon have her cast removed.

Aside from all the positives, there were more than a few bad things happening, the weight he was gaining because of the medication, was starting to concern him, as people would start to notice if he couldn't get a grip on his appetite. Then there was the problem of Nell's mother coming to visit along with Nell's Sister Rachael, who he hadn't been introduced to yet. He had been worrying that something would happen to spoil the visit, especially since the last time her mother had been in town all hell had broken loose. But for the next few days, he had Nell all to himself.

…..

"You sure you're okay about my mom and sister staying here?"

"I told you I don't mind, They're family"

"I just mean… well, because of the last time she was in LA"

"Nell. I don't plan on there being a repeat of what happened before. Anyway, worst case scenario, I'll stay somewhere else, so you still get the time to spend with them"

"You're too good to be true"

"That's a lie, and you know it" Callen managed to say, before descending into a chuckle about how Nell viewed him. Especially since it was so far from how he viewed himself

…..

"Mrs Jones. A pleasure to see you again" Callen said to her mother, and who he assumed was her sister. "Please come in, I'll bring in your luggage, and I'll show you to the guest room"

Stepping to the side, to allow their guests to come in, he grabbed hold of their luggage and followed them inside

"It's in here, first on the left" he said as he lead them into the guest bedroom

"and Where's my daughter?" Madeline Jones asked.

It was a question he knew would be asked, a question that he had no clue how to answer

"She's still in bed. We weren't expecting you for another couple of hours"

He dropped their bags next to the bed and left them to get comfortable, and went to wake Nell

…..

"I thought you were supposed to take care of my daughter"

"Mom!" Nell snapped "He has taken care of me, this…" she gestured to her leg ".. Was because I fell down some stairs at work"

Callen didn't know what to say, he didn't want to leave Nell to explain everything. But no matter what he thought of, to him, it all sounded like he was making excuses for not protecting her

Instead, what he did was cowardly… he leaned over to Nell, and whispered in her ear that he was gonna go into work, that the car keys were on the bedside unit if the three of them wanted to go out, and that she had her service weapon if her mom got too much to deal with

Madeline was far from pleased about him whispering something that she was sure had to do with her, and was even less pleased when Nell smirked at whatever Callen had said.

Once Callen had left, Madeline started grilling Nell about how long she was going to be unable to walk without crutches for, why she hadn't been told about the injury before she arrived.

Rachael sat on the couch and said nothing, not wanting to encourage her mother to continue on one of her rants.  
"So… Greg seems very nice"

…..

"Well, I bet that's a lot of fun" Kensi asked

"Not for me. At least not so long as her mom thinks I'm to blame for Nell being injured. Maybe I am, I dunno anymore"

"That's not true"

"Kensi… Before Nell and I got involved, how often did you know of her being out in the field with us? A handful of times. Since we've been involved, she's been in more danger than I'm happy with. Maybe she's be better off not being involved with me… and maybe I'm being selfish, but I don't want to be apart from her. You know me, you know that I'm not real big on the whole relationship thing. But, God help me, I really do love her, and I honestly think that I'd give up the job for her, if she asked"

"Callen… there's no rule saying that you have to be alone, or that you're not allowed to be with someone special. Being with her, it's made you happier than I've ever seen you."

"Look.. why don't you come over tonight, eat with us and give Nell some back up"

"so the invite isn't to do with you needing someone to distract her mom?"

"No, it definitely **is **an invite to be a distraction" Callen explained, with a grin on his face

…..

"So you work with my daughter?"

"Yep. We've worked together for about 4 years now" Kensi offered, suddenly understanding why Callen had wanted a distraction

"So maybe you can explain to me how my Nell broke her leg?" Madeline asked quietly, so that Rachael couldn't hear

Kensi looked round towards Callen, looking for guidance or encouragement. But knowing that Hetty had previously granted permission for certain information to be told to Nell's parents to explain certain aspects of her daily life, Kensi just told the truth.

"She was assisting us in tracking a suspect. The suspect got the upper hand and captured Nell. He pushed Nell down a set of stairs before any of us could do anything. No one was to blame for what happened, except for our suspect, who we did apprehend. Callen did everything he could, even went so far as offering to let him go if he released Nell unharmed"

"So you genuinely believe that my daughter would have still been hurt, if she hadn't of been involved with _him_?"

"I believe that he was willing to put his job on the line to try and get her released safely. I've known him for over 6 years, and I've never seen him so protective over anyone or anything as he is with Nell. If you want my opinion… In your position, I would be happy that my daughter found someone who she cares about, and who cares about her"

Kensi could see this wasn't what Mrs Jones wanted to hear, but knew it was what she could see

…..

"I'll call you when I'm on my way home, and see if you need anything brought in" Called told a still very tired Nell, before giving her a soft kiss

"I'll you tonight. Try not to get shot"

Callen walked out of the bedroom, and soon after Nell heard the front door close.

It was still quite early, and neither her mother or sister would be up yet. So she planned on staying tucked up in bed for a while longer. At least that was the plan until she saw that Callen had left his jacket.

Sitting up and swinging her legs round, using her crutches she got up on her feet and hobbled over to the jacket to grab it, only to drop it and a small plastic bottle fall out of one of the pockets.

She could recognise a pill bottle. But this just brought up a lot of questions… like why did he have it, what it contained and why he hadn't told her

About twenty minutes later she heard the front door open, to find Callen walking into their bedroom. As soon as he saw the bottle of pills on the floor, Nell could see the shock and fear on his face

"I noticed you had forgotten your jacket. When I got up to grab it, the bottle fell out. What's wrong with you? And more importantly, why have you not told me" Nell explained and then asked, her own face showing hurt and confusion

"It's Amitriptyline. They're prescribed to … well, to help me sleep and to help deal with, for want of a better description, depression" He started to explain

"But why did you not tell me?"

"For starters, because you've got enough on your plate. And secondly, because I couldn't bring myself to tell you what started it all"

Nell paused, looking at his face, seeing nothing but honesty and concern now

"…Because of my accident. The drinking… it's to do with that isn't it"

Callen couldn't hide his surprise that she had worked it out so quickly

"I Just didn't want to worry you with me not sleeping or having nightmares when I did get to sleep"

Nell hobbled over to him, used one arm to pull his head down towards her own head. Once their foreheads touched, she started speaking again

"You should know by now, that you don't ever have to hide anything from me. We're a team, and what affects you, affects me, and vice versa. This..." she gestured to her leg "…Is nothing. It'll heal. No matter what you're going through, I'm not going to abandon you. Now sit down and tell me everything"

…..

Epilogue:

Over the next few weeks Callen started to cope better with everything that had been happening. He wasn't having to hide anything from Nell, Her mother had stopped being so critical of him, for some unknown reason. Nell's cast came off and after a bit of physiotherapy to help regain strength in her injured leg, she was able to return to work. After a couple of sessions with the prescribing doctor, Callen was gradually eased off of the medication. And with an extra weekly exercise session with Sam, he soon managed to drop the weight he had gained.

Most importantly to Callen, Nell still hadn't found what he had kept in his inside jacket pocket… a little box, that came with a big question


End file.
